Marriage in the 21st century

*Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is usually the husband.

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But somehow I always had something else to take care of first: the truck, the car, e-mail, fishing, always something more important to me.

Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors.

I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a few minutes. When I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. 'When you finish cutting the grass,' I said, 'you might as well sweep the driveway.'

The doctors say I will walk again, but I will probably always have a limp.

*sent to me in e-mail by my dear husband

theteach

Who Says Men Don't Remember Anniversaries?

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed.

She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him.

She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.

She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.

"What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the
room, "Why are you down here at this time of night?"

The husband looks up from his coffee, "I am just remembering when we first met 20 years ago and started dating. You were only 16. Do you remember back then?" he asks solemnly.

The wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring, so sensitive. "Yes, I do" she replies.

The husband pauses. The words were not coming easily. "Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?"

"Yes, I remember," said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.

The husband continues. "Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, "Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years?"

"I remember that, too" she replies softly.

He wipes another tear from his cheek and says... "I would have gotten out today.

theteach

World's Tallest Man Marries

ABC News International

BEIJING Mar 28, 2007 (AP)— After searching high and low, the world's tallest man has married a woman two-thirds his height, a Chinese newspaper reported Wednesday.

Bao Xishun, a 7-foot-9 herdsman from Inner Mongolia, married 5-foot-6 saleswoman Xia Shujian several days ago, the Beijing News reported.

Bao was confirmed last year by the Guinness Book of World Records as the world's tallest person.

He was in the news in December after he used his long arms to save two dolphins by pulling plastic out of their stomachs.

The dolphins got sick after nibbling on plastic from the edge of their pool at an aquarium in Liaoning province. Attempts to use surgical instruments to remove the plastic failed because the dolphins' stomachs contracted in response to the instruments, Chinese media reported.

Photo: Bao Xishun, the world's tallest man, poses with his new wife Xia Shujian in Chifeng, in China's Inner Mongolia region, Monday, March 26, 2007. The two officially married on Monday. Bao, at 2.36 meters, is listed by the Guinness Book of World Records as the world's tallest man, while his wife is 1.68 meters tall. (AP Photo/EyePress)

All the best to the happy couple!

theteach