Friday, October 01, 2010

What happens when you're in your 60s and your husband retires...


I walk through the living room on my way upstairs to call a friend and he says "Where are you going?"

"Upstairs." It's really obvious where I'm going.

"Why?" he says.

"Aah...," And I can't name right away what I'm doing. "Aah, um, ah yes, I'm going upstairs to call my friend."

"Oh."

Now I think, why did he ask me that? Being asked to NAME what I'm doing right then made me hesitate. You know you walk into a room and you ask yourself "Now what did I come in here for?"

His question makes me feel dumb and that Alzheimer's is decending on me at that very moment.

I feel a little annoyed. Why did he ask me that question? Hannah has told me he just wants to connect with me. The question isn't important, the connection is.

So okay I've developed a phrase to use when he asks a question like that. A phrase that comes to me immediately and suffices as an answer.

He says "Where are going?" And I say, "I'll get back to you on that, dear." I continue on my way upstairs.:)

12 comments:

Queen-Size funny bone said...

or you can say.....when I remember I'll let you in on the secret.

Annie said...

So funny, Mary. Retirement hits us all so differently. Don loved having the house to himself for three years. I'm there now and we are working out the details of sharing space again 100% of the time. It's a challenge sometimes but usually fun AND funny.

ellen said...

Yes, marriage in retirement is a funny thing!!!

My Grama's Soul said...

Cute Post today....brought a big smile to my face....my sweet hubby retired early and has been home for the last 15 years....TRY TO GET YOUR BRAIN AROUND THAT...WILL YA!! TEEEHEEEE!!

Xo

JO

Felisol said...

Dear Teach Mary,
We are retired, the both of us.
It's great.
I'm learning lots about computing and photography. We go on sundown shoots together.
Besides, I always have wheels.
Once a week I go hiking with my friends, and that's the day hubby is making dinner by his own initiative.

We both had early retirements because of health issues.
Now we finally have time to spend on training and are better fit than we were the last decade.

Various interests and friends, space of one's own and common hobbies as well, have been an ideal mix to us.
How blessed we are to be allowed spending these years together.

Thom said...

YOu know you don't think of this kind of thing until after you retire. If it were me, and you know me, I would say MYOB!!! LOL (Mind Your Own Business) Then I'd end up having to send flowers or something LOL

Jan said...

So familiar. Bob is dreading when I start staying home, instead of working PT. He hasn't said that, but he isn't encouraging when I mention it. As far a Vinny, try this, as you pass thru, give him a pat, a hug, or a peck, then be on your way.

maryt/theteach said...

Thank you guys, for suggestions - Jan, that little pat or hug is a good idea - Tammy you're suggestion is funny. Yes, Thom, get ready with the flowers. I think it's universal that we have to adjust to our spouses who retire and come home to occupy the space that was just our own for so long... :)

Pearl said...

"I'll get back to you". does that work. usually I'm getting up to go to the bathroom and offer to bring back a urine sample. that stops the question for a while.

Debbie said...

This was cute, Mary. I'm here alone and occasionally I do ask myself...what are you doing now???

Gattina said...

That must be international, lol ! Exactly the same questions. And then also : What do we eat tonight ?
and : you should do this
you should do that etc etc.
I now invented invisible ear plugs.

Travis Cody said...

That's funny...I'll get back to you on that.

I'm looking forward to retirement, but I can't yet conceive of what it's going to be like. It's still a ways off in the distance, though, so there's time to figure it out.