Friday, May 08, 2009

Happy Mother's Day!

Some Funny Quotes

1. "Mothers of teenagers know why animals eat their young." ~ Author Unknown

2. "Mothers are all slightly insane." ~ J.D. Salinger

3. "I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them." ~ Phyllis Diller

4. "There is only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it." ~ Chinese Proverb

5. "It takes a woman twenty years to make a man of her son, and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him." ~ Helen Rowland

6. "The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found." ~ Calvin Trillin

7. "A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car for ever after." ~ Peter De Vries

8. "It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge." ~ Phyllis Diller

9. "All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his." ~ Oscar Wilde

10. "A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie." ~ Tenneva Jordan

11. "You don't really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time around - and why his parents will always wave back." ~William D. Tammeus.

12. "Working mothers are guinea pigs in a scientific experiment to show that sleep is not necessary to human life." ~ Author Unknown

13. "Any mother could perform the jobs of several air-traffic controllers with ease." ~ LisaAlther

14. "My mother had to send me to the movies with my birth certificate, so that I wouldn't have to pay the extra fifty cents that the adults had to pay." ~ KareemAbdul-Jabbar

15. "My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it." ~ Mark Twain

16. "My mother's menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it." ~ Buddy Hackett



Thom said...

These are all great...Have a wonderful Happy Mother's Day :)

Queen-Size funny bone said...

oh how it. Happy Mothers
day to you.

Mo said...

I have another one for you...
"Mirror, mirror on the wall, I am my mother, after all."

Have a happy weekend!
The Purries of Purrchance To Dream
and Mo

Pagan Sphinx said...

The Oscar Wilde quote is great. Of course, he said lots of clever things.

Happy mother's day, Mary!

Gattina said...

Happy Mother's day to you too !
I got a big surprise the visit of my son with fiancee and 100 tulips from Amsterdam !

carol g said...

These are fantastic. I read them all to my #1 Son and husband. What a great way to start our day!

storyteller said...

Thanks for the laughter ... wonderful quotes for the day ;--)
Hugs and blessings,

SandyCarlson said...

These are great. That first one cracks me up.