Thursday, May 08, 2008

Thursday Thirteen


1. I would build a 15-foot wall around the White House to keep Bush in his place so he couldn't get out and do more harm than he's already done. I'd place border guards around the wall every 10 feet. I'd let him out on January 20th 2009.

2. No head of State could be taller than 5 foot 7 inches tall. (I'm 5' 8")

3.Only blonde men would be in charge of Department of the Interior, Homeland Security, amd the Federal Numismatic Corporation. How much harm could they do?

4.Swami Guru would be in charge of exercise and working out.

5. I would slap a gag on Rush Limbaugh til after January 20th, 2009

6. I would seize control of a country. Maybe Canada because Canadians are very polite and probably would let me. Then Canada would be my base of power.

7. I would declare war on a couple of other countries. I would choose countries that have done absolutely nothing to us, are small and unstable anyway, and have great natural resources that we can steal and keep for ourselves.

8. Before putting Nos. 6 and 7 into effect, I would take lessons from megalomaniacs such as Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld.

9. I would convince women to lose the embarrassment surrounding eating french fries. Chomping down on french fries dissipates aggression against individual men and builds powerful feelings against all men.

10. I would resist the impulse to share power with powerful men or anyone. Sharing anything weakens the person who shares and strengthens the person being shared with.

11. No women would be allowed to wear pants suits. Men can wear suits but women (unless they have very thin thighs) can wear that typical pants suit made popular by a certain woman who is running for office in the U.S.

12. The Jehovah Witnesses would be in charge of all religion. But they would not be allowed to go house-to-house soliciting members.

13. I would give no credit where credit is due.


Now, Yes, I admit that there is a "World Rule" meme out there. Sandee of Comedy Plus has posted the meme on her blog. She was tagged by Stine of Mother's Got A Dot Com. And Yes, I did get the idea for this post from that post.

Other Thursday Thirteen participants are here.



On a limb with Claudia said...

Oh my! I laughed out loud at this post. It came up in my reader and I just laughed. Well done.

I just planted white, red and purple potatoes. What will that do to my feelings toward men? Advise me oh guru.

Julie said...

Wow...ya got some interesting thoughts there Teach! Hmmmm.....

pussreboots said...

I would disobey you because I don't like being told what to wear (or not to wear). Happy TT.

Stine said...

Hahaha - what an interesting world you'd be ruling...

shubd said...

Hilarious !!

And what is that RED splattered on the fries ?

Red ..from the moments of embarrassment?

Red... from the blood of those who caused embarrassment? :P

Red... for the danger of eating them ?

I once told a friend .. it is not that I don't like fries . It is just that they like me a little too much and tend to stay with me forever !!! :D

Sassy Mama Bear said...

Reason to eat french fries, I am so there. Great list, and great twist of the meme for TT.

SandyCarlson said...

Funny, Mary! I'll meet you in Quebec for a plate of fries.

Gattina said...

One thing is sure ! I vote for you !! You are my idol ! and if you want, with my Mafia connection I could send somebody over to solve the Bush problem without building a wall around the White House !

Hahaha ! wonderful TT !

anthonynorth said...

Loved it! A good political sense there :-)

marcia said...

Oh my Mary LOL If I were in charge of the world I would send you on a LONG Island vacation and maybe order the calories to leave FF

Natalie said...

I'm laughing my rear off right now!!!

Akelamalu said...

LOL I'll vote for you!

Bond said...

This was hysterical

Thanks for the laugh

OH were serious! LOLOL

Anonymous said...

lol Sorry I grossed you out, but yours, in its own way, is as bad as mine!!

Maybe we could lock Bush and Limbaugh in the White House together? It would be interesting to see if there were survivors when we let them out.

Susan Helene Gottfried said...

What fun ideas! But the pantsuits don't bother me.

Lew said...

Please make # 5 permanent.

Travis said...

I never understood this problem women have with eating fries.

Smother them with ketchup and chow down ladies!