Thursday, February 28, 2008

Thursday Thirteen

TT header by Hootin' Anni

(For people who don't want to read too much)

Did you hear about the border wars between Norway & Sweden? The Norwegians were throwing dynamite at the Swedes and the Swedes were lighting it and throwing it back at the Norwegians!

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sitting on your front porch?
Matt (Matt-man)

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool?

Why did the fish get kicked out of school?
Cause he was caught with seaweed.

Why don't aliens eat clowns.
Because they taste funny.

What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh

Hey waiter, my coffee tastes like mud!
Yes sir, It's fresh ground.

A french fry walks into the bar and says to the bartender "Hey , could I get a beer please?"
The bartender looks at him shaking his head and says "No, we don't serve food here."

There are two rules for success: 1.) Don't tell all you know.

How many Marxists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, the seeds of revolution and change are within the lightbulb itself.

How is a man like the weather?
Nothing can be done to change either one of them.

A blond walks into a library, walks up to the counter and tells the Librarian: "I'd like a cheeseburger, fries, and a diet Coke". The Librarian says: "Miss, don't you realize that this is a library?" "I"m sorry", says the blonde. (Whispering: I'll have a cheeseburger, fries and a diet Coke)"
Is it true that an alligator won't attack you if you carry a flashlight?
Depends on how fast you carry the flashlight.


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The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!


Sandee (Comedy +) said...

Good ones Teach. I don't see anything wrong with the blondes logic however. Bwahahahaha. Have a great TT. :)

TAMY & the SGT said...

Thank you, thank you, I needed a few silly laughs today!

MondaythroughSunday said...

LOL..thanks for the laugh!

Greatfullivin said...

I loved these..what a hoot. Great jokes. :)

Sandy Carlson said...

You made me laugh! Thanks Mary. These are all great.

Journeywoman said...


Natalie said...

Hehehehehe...I love 'em!

DrillerAA said...

These are great. Short, to the point and very funny, what more could you ask for?
Thanks for ending my day with a little smile.

Open Grove Claudia said...

These are fun and funny - well done! I like how simple they are, yet, I laughed! lol!

Happy TT!

SJ Reidhead said...

I like the one of the kid with the fries!

The Pink Flamingo

Jim said...

Hi Ms. Poet - I like your blonde joke, I like most blonde jokes. This one is not the least bit mean either.
"A french fry ..." joke would have started "A French fry ..." had I written it. Picky, picky.

You DNA molecule picture is a nice find. We (our house) like the MOMA.
Oh yes, Mrs. Jim and I and a friend couple were eating again this evening and listening to a country singer, Billy Jo Shafer.

Gattina said...

Did you run out of ideas, lol ?

marcia said...

haha fun

Jubilee on Earth said...

How fun!!!!! I cracked up. Great TT.


the teach said...

Jim, I can't let a correction go by...yes it should have been a French fry-I knew it looked funny and didn't know why. HA!

jennifer said...

Loved the blonde joke since I am a Brunette-blonde! Funny 13 - Jen

Ivanhoe said...

I love short jokes! Happy TT!

tips and tricks said...

Thanks for the jokes. Mine's a little crappy. :-)

Sandy Feet said...

Funny bunch. My kids get joke books from the library and rattle off these kinds of goofy laughs all the time. I love them.

Matt-Man said...

Y'know. You can be so very hurtful. Just for that I'll have to link your site. Cheers Mary!!

Chuck said...

HAHA - You made me giggle. But, what's wrong with weed? I just don't get it.

Anonymous said...

those are great, thanks for the laugh this morning!

Becca said...

What did the home repair clerk say when The Three Little Pigs bought their building supplies?

Holy Cow! Talking Pigs!!

I love short jokes. Great list and thanks for stopping by.

Nancy Lindquist-Liedel said...

Funny, thank you. I needed a laugh.

Jamie said...

"How is a man like the weather?
Nothing can be done to change either one of them."

This one reminded me of one of my favorite quotes:

Any woman who thinks a man WILL change and any man who thinks a woman WON'T change are both doomed to disappointment.

ellen b said...

This was a lot of fun Maryt! Have a great day...

The Mama Bear said...

Well at least they weren't "SHORT" jokes, I was worried there for a the Matt-man joke.
History lesson for my TT today.

Hootin' Anni said...

I am literally laughing out loud on these!!! Too too funny. And I copied the one about the Norwegians and Swedes. My brother in law is always bragging about the fact he's full blooded Norwegian...and this one takes the cake. It's so fitting. roflmao

Wow, the TT header you chose looks terrific against your background color. I'm glad you liked them, and I'm super glad you're using them. Take 'em all if you wish. They're there for all who make my blog experience so much fun. I wanted to 'pay back' a little bit.

Have a wonderful day.

YummY! said...

Thanks for the smiles this morning.

I like the alligator one. -grin-

Deb - Mom of 3 Girls said...

Those are great - thank you so much for the laughs! And for stopping by my T13 this week also! :)

Travis said...

Two cups of yogurt walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve your kind here."

One of the cups of yogurt replies, "But we're cultured."